


Day 1 (Erh… feelings!!!)

by MarmeLady_Orange



Series: Shipped Anonymous [3]
Category: Criminal Minds, Sherlock (TV), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A bit serious but still tried to be funny, Alternate Universe Crossover, Crack, M/M, No offense intended to any ship or shippers or fandom, No resolution just yet, Resolution coming next and final instalment, Spoilers, The original character is from OUR universe, This is all assumptions of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 06:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4993357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarmeLady_Orange/pseuds/MarmeLady_Orange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As she unwraps her sandwich, Liz smiles and makes them wait a bit before talking again. “What I would like you all to do now is to think about the man sitting beside you. Later, we will talk about how you truly feel about him, what are your likes and dislikes.”</p>
<p>“Is this mandatory or do we still have a choice?” Watson asks, his lunch plate still untouched.</p>
<p>“You can decide to sit this question out, of course. However, I’d still recommend you take a second to think about it. Who knows what you might discover…”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day 1 (Erh… feelings!!!)

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah… that took a while to do. I should have known better than to tackle not one, but FOUR pairings I know little to nothing about. I’ve watched the shows and movies, but my investment in them is nothing compared to Supernatural and Destiel.
> 
> So, sorry for that. 
> 
> Still, I hope how things unfolded would be somewhat satisfactory. Not that it’s over… I still have one more chapter to write and, if it may offer glimpses of resolution for all pairings (if it’s not already done), it will mostly be Destiel-centered. As it was supposed to be from the start. (But, I think you guys already knew that).

“I was built for love.”

Everyone, still eating lunch, turns their attention to Castiel. Holding a finger up, Liz swallows her bite of turkey sandwich before addressing the former angel.

“We’re still on break, Castiel. I’m glad to see you eager to answer my question but wouldn’t you rather wait?”

“I’m done with my lunch,” he says, showing off his empty plate.

“Nevertheless, most of us aren’t done yet.”

“I’ll be the one talking, what does it matter if–”

Dean lets out an annoyed exhale. “Cas, can’t you just wait? Here, have some of my chips, it’ll entertain your big mouth.”

Scowling at his friend, Castiel grabs the small bag and starts eating the crispy treats.

“Didn’t say you could take them all,” Dean mumbles, a little dejected.

“Either I eat, or I speak… you decide,” Castiel replies, sending Dean a satisfied smirk when he sees him shake his head and take another bite of his own sandwich.

If their little squabble has garnered some interest from the other men, none of them says a word about it and keep to themselves. Five minutes later, about three after he had gobbled the whole bag of chips, Castiel tries again to speak.

“I don’t see why I should wait. Isn’t this far from being effective? The more time we have to–”

“All right, Castiel… you win,” the therapist says, defeat clouding her tone. “Tell us what it is you so urgently need to say.”

“But–” Dean tries to object, not liking the idea so much. Nobody else seems to care. 

“As I was saying before,” Castiel says, cutting his friend off, “I was built for love.” He looked around, satisfied to see everyone paying attention to him. “When Father made us, it was so we could love Him. But then He created humans and asked that we love _them_.”

“That doesn’t tell us what you think about Dean,” Liz comments. “Unless what you’re saying is that you love him because your father wants you to.”

“At first I did. I mean, I loved him no more but no less that any other human.”

“I don’t think you loved Sam that much,” Dean has to say, thinking back to when they met.

“To be fair, your brother was drinking demon blood at that moment in time. He wasn’t on Heaven’s good side.”

“Of course… drinking demon blood… This thing is like a neverending nightmare,” they hear Watson mutter between sandwich bites. 

Next to him, Sherlock’s plate is still intact. “I told you, John. We are experiencing some sort of drug induced fantasy, probably the work of Moriarty’s henchmen.”

“Is that why you’re not eating?” Spencer feels the need to ask, his own plate now finished.

“I have hallucinated before, young man. I fear that whatever I see on my lap may be something else entirely. And probably not edible either.”

“I thought I’d be the only one to talk,” Castiel intervenes for Liz’s benefit. “Couldn’t they wait for me to be done?”

“I do favor interactions between the participants, Castiel. As long as there are no judgments and stay on the subject, that is.” She turns to Sherlock to give him a tight smile. “Mr. Holmes, I know there’s no way for me to prove how real this all is. But please, I would appreciate that you kept those thoughts to yourself. Others seem to be willing to do the work I ask of them.” 

She sends the detective a dark stare when she sees him ready to reply. He elects to keep silent and she turns back to Castiel, nodding for him to continue.

“Thank you, Miss Patrickson. So, what I mean when I say I was built for love is even though that’s what we were told, it’s not really what it was. I believe we were really made to worship.”

“Are you telling us you worship Dean?”

Not minding Dean’s protesting huff, Castiel continues. “Not in the slightest. Worship is something else entirely. I think that what I feel, for him or his brother, is not worship but rather love. The human kind. And I think I’ve proven on more than one occasion that I would choose them above all else, my Father included.”

“Not true!”

The room’s attention shifts on Dean who’s scowling at his friend. “If God was in front of you and asked you to choose, you’d go to Him. Just like you always chose your stupid duties over us, even though you knew they didn’t make a lick of sense. You’re only staying with us ’cause you can’t go back to Heaven.”

“Well that escalated quickly,” Derek Morgan says, trying to keep a serious face. “Somebody’s got some issues.”

“You see, gentlemen, this is exactly why we’re here. If I can only help some of you come to term with your feelings and clear the air, it will all be worth it.”

Castiel has been looking at his friend in shock since his declaration. “Dean, do you really think I don’t want to be with you? Do you really doubt my devotion to you and your brother?”

Instead of answering, Dean shrugs, keeping his eyes on his empty plate.

Liz gets up and goes around the room with a garbage bag to collect the paper plates and wrappings. Everyone but Sherlock Holmes is done with their lunch, but he still drops it all in the bag.

“Who’s ready to tell their friend what they mean to them?” the therapist asks as she sits back on her chair.

“Well, I don’t think the angel was done,” Tony Stark says, pointing to Castiel who just shakes his head, uneasy.

“How about you, Mr. Stark? Have you thought about it?” Liz says to let the hunter and the angel settle down a bit.

“I don’t need to _think_ about it, sweetheart. It’s just what it is. I like the Captain and I respect him, even though we’re obviously not cut from the same cloth.”

A confused Steve Rogers looks at his friend. “And what would be your cloth? Don’t we work for the same organization? Do the same type of work?”

“Come on, Cap… you can’t seriously say that we’re the same, can you? Not that it’s bad to be you, but I think I have much more in common with… hmm… Banner, per exemple. We’re both scientists, you’re a soldier.”

“Well, if being a scientist means that nothing can ever been taken seriously, I’d rather be a soldier.”

“See what I mean?” Tony says as he turns to address the therapist. “He’s so damn serious, life with him would be quite boring. Life’s short, better enjoy it, don’t you think?”

Liz gives the Iron Man her usual tight smile. “It’s not my place to share opinions. But you certainly have nice things to say about your friend, don’t you?”

“That’s all I’ve been doing! He’s gorgeous, if that’s you want me to say. He’s been pumped full of super juice to be, but the result is still the same. And he’s courageous. And, when he loosens up a bit, he can even be funny.”

“Thank you, Tony. It’s very nice of you to say. I too find you funny. More often than not, you are inappropriate, but I guess this is how the modern man is. Everyone else seems to appreciate this type of humor.” He turns to the therapist. “But he seems to think that I’m not intelligent because I’m strong. I wasn’t always strong, you know. I once only had my brains to rely on.”

“I know you’re intelligent, that’s not what I’m saying at all. We just use our brains differently. Is that better?” When Steve nods, Tony smiles and turns to Liz once more. “I think the problem is that we’re both alpha males, you know? Always in competition, both wanting to be on top.”

“It’s funny that you’d put it that way,” Dean blurts, unable to resist pointing at the obvious pun. Something he should have known wasn’t a good idea.

“Someone’s got their mind in the gutter,” Tony replies with a smirk. “Wanna talk about how that’s the first thing that crossed your mind?”

“Come on, like you wouldn’t have said anything about it,” Dean spits as he crosses his arms over his chest, making Tony laugh.

“Well, if you guys don’t mind, I’d like to go next,” James Kirk says, taking the floor for the first time in a while. He turns to his friend with a warm smile. “When we met, we did not like each other,” he starts, to which Spock agrees with a nod. “To be fair, he was kind of a dick.”

“Well, you had cheated. It was my duty to– ”

“Yeah, yeah… But then we got to work together and we found that we completed one another. I can safely say that Spock is my best friend. He’s the one I trust most of all.”

“And I, you. You have become the great Captain your father would have been proud to serve under. I am very fortunate to have you as my captain.”

“Aww, Spock… are those feelings?”

“I think we may have established by now that I’m not entirely devoid of sentiments.”

Jim’s smile gets cheeky. “I can even say I came to find you handsome. You know, for a non-totally-human guy.”

“If I may say so myself, every man in here is very good looking,” Spencer comments, looking around the room. “That alone should help cement the notion that we may not be real.”

“What a preposterous idea,” Sherlock spits, shocked. “You can’t honestly think we’re fictitious because we were granted with good genes. And even if we were, that would mean that actors are portraying us. Which means–”

Derek can’t resist jumping in the conversation. “How many ugly people do you know?”

“I’ve seen ugly people.”

“We all have but–”

This time it’s Dean who cuts Sherlock off. “The uglies you’ve seen… Were they good people?”

“I don’t see how that’s relevant,” the detective says, brows knitted in confusion.

“Look, you must have watched movies or TV before, man. And of course everyone’s some kind of pretty. But if they’re not, they’ll be evil most of the time. Or stupid. We’ve been lucky though, even our baddies were good looking.”

Castiel clears his throat. “You find Crowley to be good looking?”

“What? No, of course not… but he’s not _ugly_ either. And Abaddon was smokin’ hot.”

“How about Metatron? Do you find him pretty as well?”

“Now see, that’s one of the bad looking ones. And he’s a major douche.”

“Certainly Lucifer wasn’t handsome.”

“If his vessel hadn’t been exploding from the inside, he could have been, yeah. And then he wore my brother. There’s another good looking dude for you.

“Hmm… Then what about– ”

“Are you guys done chit-chatting like ladies at the salon? Can we move this along?”

Both Castiel and Dean turn their attention back to the room, startled by Tony’s intervention. “I believe Sherlock and Watson still haven’t spoken.”

“Neither did they,” Watson says with a pout, pointing at Derek and Spencer.

“True. I think the world of this guy right here,” Derek announces with a soft squeeze to Spencer’s shoulder. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone this brilliant. See, I’m no slouch myself and we work with pretty brilliant people too, but this kid… He’s in a league of his own, you know?”

“Thank you, Derek. You’re pretty brilliant yourself. And if I had to envy anything about you, it’s your courage. And your heart. You’re easily one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, whatever you want us to believe. And you’re one of my closest friends, if not my best friend.”

“Gentlemen, this is all very touching. I’m glad to see you opening up but I’ll never believe that everything’s that perfect between you guys. May I remind you that my question included both the good and the bad things?”

“What’s with the negativity, doc? It sounds like you want us to fight.”

“Of course I don’t want you to fight,” Liz explains to a suspicious Tony. “But if any of you have grievances or things they want to get off their chest, now may be the best time to do it. I am here to help after all.”

“Well, we don’t need your help. Send us back now,” Dean hisses, no longer patient.

“I conquer,” Sherlock says. “Watson and I have a very busy day tomorrow. We can’t stay here any longer.”

“I told you already, you will not be losing any time, or any sleep for that matter.” The therapist looks at her Dior watch again. “We still have three hours of work ahead of us. Time just might go by faster if you participate a little."

“Dean does seem to hold a grudge about something.” Castiel turns to face the hunter on the loveseat. “I thought we were past all of this, that you had forgiven me.” Not caring about Dean glaring at him, Castiel takes his friend’s hands in his. “I know I’ve made mistakes, Dean. But I tried so hard to redeem myself. Maybe it’s impossible, maybe– ”

“It’s all in the past, Cas, I swear… I just… I can’t help but think that if you still had your grace, you wouldn’t be hanging out with us. You’d always be gone.”

“No, I wouldn’t. Even as an angel I didn’t belong in Heaven anymore. My home is with you, Dean. I wish you would start believing me.”

While Dean is stunned into silence, Tony lets out a soft whistle. “Now that sounds a lot like a love declaration,” he says, sounding a little impressed. Which grants him with a couple of dark glares, the therapist’s being one of them.

“Shut up!” Dean spits, not letting his stare falter from his friend’s. “Not you, I mean Stark,” the hunter specifies when he catches the glimmer of hurt in the ex-angel’s eyes. Dean’s voice is much softer when he speaks again. “We’re real glad you wanna stay with us, but you don’t mean that, Cas. You’ve just fallen, you know nothing about being human. Someday you’ll meet this cute girl and– ”

“And what? Stop hunting like you did with Lisa? Or like your brother tried to do while we were in Purgatory? You know that’s not what our lives are about. Not for you, and certainly not for me.”

“It could still be for you. Me and Sam, we’re in too deep already but you– ”

Somebody clears their throat, startling Dean. He turns towards the sound to find Liz looking at them with a satisfied grin.

“What?” he grouses, all of his defenses up again.

“Nothing… I’m just glad to see you boys willing to talk it out. I just think that it may be something you’d rather discuss in a private session with me?”

“Hell no!” Dean says, shaking his head. “As soon as we’re back home, you can bet your supermodel ass that we’re warding ourselves and the bunker from the likes of you!”

“Doc, you’re breakin’ my heart,” Tony says with a short laugh, “pretty sure they were just about to start making out.”

“Tony! Don’t be disgusting,” Steve berates him.

“It’s just love, Cap… Come here, lemme show you,” the engineer says as he moves forward, wiggling his tongue.

Everyone laughs when Steve doesn’t back out and instead plants a big smooch on Iron Man’s lips… or he tries anyway, instead getting his lips wet from his friend’s tongue.

The room echoes in laughter when both men pull back and wipe their mouths on their sleeves.

“That has to be the worst first kiss I’ve ever had,” Tony says, chuckling. “Gotta say, I’m impressed you even leaned in,” he adds, making Steve chuckle.

“You should know by now that I’m not one to shy away from a challenge.”

Spock’s voice soon echoes over the laughs. “You see, miss Patrickson, I would think that Kirk and I have no grievance to speak of at this moment. I’d say the ones we had, we settled them already. Wouldn’t you agree?” he asks, turning to his captain, making him smile.

“I do. Whatever frustrations we had, we worked them out. Sometimes with our fists, but hey… that’s testosterone for you.”

“I don’t have any pending griefs towards Spencer either,” Derek says, him too smiling at his partner.

“And I don’t either,” Spencer replies. “If we had to hold grudges, it would make our work much more difficult. I don’t see how you both can even work together. You obviously have a lot of unresolved issues between the two of you,” he adds for Dean and Castiel’s benefit.

“Shut up! You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dean spits. He looks down at his arm when he feels Castiel’s hand land on it.

“He’s not wrong, Dean. I know talking about your feelings is not something you like to do but I think it’s long overdue. Just… not here,” Castiel specifies, turning to the therapist. “He’s never going to talk with strangers in the room and without some of his favorite whiskey to loosen him up.”

“Stop talking as if I’m not here,” an embarrassed Dean mumbles. “But yeah, he’s right,” he confirms, him too looking at the therapist. “We’ll stay ’cause we don’t have a choice, but I’m done having you trying to make me talk about things that don’t concern you.”

Against all odds, Dean’s little outburst makes Liz smile. “See, Dean? That’s all I ask… I’m glad to see the both of you agreeing to the fact that you need to talk. That is quite the accomplishment, if you ask me.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I actually don’t think anybody has asked you,” Sherlock intervenes.

Everyone in the room turns to him.

“You’re right, nobody asked me. But you may agree with me when I say that most people either won’t ask for help, or won’t realize they need it.”

“And I firmly believe that unless someone asks, they’re not ready to be helped,” the detective counters, making a couple of the other men hum in approval.

“I can’t disagree with you,” Liz says with a nod. “Still, I’d think that knowing that the help is available can’t be a negative thing. But… how about you, Mr. Holmes? Are you sure you don’t have any resentment against Dr. Watson? What about him getting married and leaving you to live alone once more?”

“That indeed wasn’t his finest hour. But he knows he’s welcome back the day that marriage inevitably ends.”

“What do you mean, inevitably ends? What do you even know about relationships?” Watson looks right about to explode.

“No need to get your knickers in a twist, John. Do you know the percentage of marriages that come to an end nowadays? It’s a strong statistical possibility, nothing more.”

Liz ignores the numerous scowls her next intervention grants her. “And how about you, Dr. Watson? Did you really forgive Mr. Holmes for faking his death and leaving you to grieve him for an unnecessary long time?”

“Man, that was a shitty thing to do,” Dean can’t help but comment. “My brother did the same thing to me. Not that he faked his death, he really did die, but he came back almost immediately. Took a whole year for him to come and tell me.” He turns to Castiel, eyes squinted. “Bobby knew, and you knew, and neither of you ever told me.”

“I thought we were okay, Dean. I explained myself, I said how sorry I was. I don’t know what else I could do.”

The pain in Castiel’s stare tugs at Dean’s heart and he instantly feels bad to have brought it up again.

“There’s nothing to be done, I was just… I know how Watson feels, is all. We’re good.”

Spencer clears his throat, still scowling at the therapist. “How do you want us to believe you don’t want us to fight when you keep bringing up everybody’s issues like that? And how is it even any of your business? If at first I welcomed the introspection, I now find it’s more like an inquisition than anything.”

He turns to the detective and doctor before continuing. “Don’t let her rile you up, you’re both more intelligent than that.”

“You’re too kind, Dr. Reid, but we’re good. Aren’t we, Watson?” the detective says with a forced smile.

“I’ve been to war, I certainly can handle a skinny bird who chirps too much.”

“Can we go? We obviously don’t need any type of help,” Captain Kirk asks, prompting every other man to agree with him.

The therapist’s features aren’t as cool and collected anymore. She tries to find a sympathetic ally but fails. Even the former angel looks utterly annoyed. Liz turns to Derek Morgan in the hopes of getting him to help her.

“Mr. Morgan… You were here yesterday. Didn’t I help you and Miss Garcia?”

“Yeah, you did,” the agent says with a shrug, “but only because there was something to help with. Not saying we’re getting all lovey-dovey, but we do have unresolved… issues… between us. It’s just not the case here and I think we’ve established that already. No matter how much you’re craving for us to start making out on that couch, it won’t happen!”

Again, many agreeing hums can be heard.

“Well, we kinda did kiss. Guess it means we should be free to go now,” Tony Stark says as he slaps Steve’s shoulder. “And it’s not gonna happen again, in case that’s why you think we should stay.”

Spock’s is the next voice to be heard. “I don’t think it’s a secret anymore that Kirk and I have been affectionate with each other at some point. Isn’t this whole operation useless if that’s the case? I don’t think anything else needs to be said about it all.”

“Yeah… It’s nobody’s business,” Kirk confirms, the tip of his ears a bit red.

For the first time, the therapist’s isn’t so stiff anymore. As her features fall, so does her body, slouching in her armchair as if her spine is melting.

“What… What did I do wrong? I thought this was going well, wasn’t it?” she asks to no one in particular. “Working with women would have been so much easier but I wanted this. Why the hell did I ever think I wanted this? Stupid men and their sexual hang-ups.”

As she speaks, she hides her face in her hands. And when she lets out a shaky whine, Steve is the first to try and comfort her.

“Miss Patrickson… please don’t cry. Maybe you were just so good that we resolved our issues quicker than expected? I… maybe if you had brought us here with other people, the outcome may have been different.”

“Like Bucky?” Dean tries but regrets it immediately when he notices the hurt in Captain America’s eyes.

“You like to talk out of your ass, don’t you boy?” spits Tony as he lands a sympathetic hand on his friend’s shoulder.

A couple of not so discreet snickers erupt around the room.

“You kind of helped those who didn’t now know they still had issues to resolve,” says Castiel in an attempt to take the focus off the hunter. “You can at least be proud of that.”

When Sherlock speaks, his tone is far from mild. “Please tell me you don’t believe her. She’s clearly trying to manipulate us.”

“I have to say that for once, I do agree with Mr. Holmes. You don’t seem like the kind of woman to fall apart this quickly,” Spencer chimes in, circumspect. “I certainly don’t intend on inventing myself some issues for your personal enjoyment.”

“Well said, young man. We of greater minds certainly can see right through this little ploy of hers.”

With a huff, Liz lets her hands fall to her lap, then smiles. “You know what’s interesting?” she starts, not a single trace of tears on her face. “You two,” she points to both Spencer and Sherlock, “have been paired together by some even though you’re not from the same universe.”

The therapist then points to Dean and Captain Kirk. “As well as the both of you together. Or you and Mr Rogers,” she announces to Castiel. “Hell, there’s a sexy story out there about any of you with anyone else in the room. Sometimes you’re even more than two participants.”

Liz’s smile widens when she sees how pretty much every man in the room is looking around with their eyes ready to jump out of their sockets. 

“Now tell me… how does _that_ make you feel?”

 

 

_ To be continued… _

**Author's Note:**

> Now that you’ve read it, I can say a little thing about the plot… I have to thank user [LikeIt] who left a comment in the last chapter about how Spencer and Sherlock were "shipped" together. This, I didn’t know about and of course I had to use it. Then I looked around and found out that pretty much everyone had been paired with everyone at some point, just like Liz said. And yeah, Liz is kind of a bitch so she HAD to find a way to make them squirm.
> 
> As always, not beta’d and copyrights to whoever owns them. I’m just playing around with their stuff. ;)
> 
> Please, let me know what you think and, if you’re in the neighbourhood, come and see me on [Tumblr](http://marmeladyorange.tumblr.com/).


End file.
